Unhappiness

"When you're unhappy, I guess everything in the world - reading, eating, sleeping - has something buried somewhere inside it that makes you unhappier."  - J.J. from Nick Hornby's A Long Way Down


This struck me.  No, not like a ton of bricks as everyone says.  Because when a ton of bricks strikes you, I imagine you'd feel crushed and possibly splattered.  And definitely not able to move for awhile.  I felt none of these things.  I was struck by this like I'd be struck by an ostrich pecking me on the forehead.  It was more surprising (and less paralyzing) than a ton of bricks.  You see bricks every day - in a building, maybe a sidewalk, and sometimes in the street if you're in an older part of town.  They're everywhere in Madison, MS.  But an ostrich, unless you live near an ostrich farm or in Africa somewhere, is quite unusual.

I think what surprised me the most about it is the truth in it.  A truth that was so obvious once I'd read it but one I had never thought of before.  Not in those terms anyway.  You've met people like this.  I've been this person on one (long) occasion or another (I still apologize to people who knew me the summer I was studying for the bar).  The people who just can't get through a moment without grouching about something and possibly also about how said something is what's really wrong with this world anyway.  It just never occurred to me that this was caused by unhappiness.  Even in myself.  (Yes, I'm woman enough to admit that sometimes, I'm unhappy.  And that's okay.)  Loads of things cause unhappiness.  Stress.  Loss of a job or a loved one.  Breaking up.  Or Nothing. Nothing can cause unhappiness too.  Too much nothing can make you wish there was something.  Even if that something makes you unhappy(ier).

These things build on each other too.  Unhappiness begets unhappiness.  If you're unhappy already, say you're boss just told you that the last project you worked on has to be done again.  You hated that project.  You'd rather stick toothpicks in your eyelids than work on that project again.  But you've got to.  Suddenly, everything irritates the hell out of you.  And it's at that moment, inevitably that everything comes out to get you (especially if you're also a little paranoid...).  It's the truth, I tell you.  If you've ever had a morning in which you overslept, lost your keys, dropped the dog's food all over the kitchen floor, banged your head on a cabinet, and had to deal with a stuck filing cabinet door when you finally got to work which you were even later to because of the horrible traffic jam filled with rude drivers, then you certainly know it's true.  Not that that's ever happened to me.

And what's the cure?  Happiness.  And how do you get that?  In the past, my answer to that question would have been something cliché like "I have no idea" or "That's a post for another day".  I would have just glossed over it like it was some nebulous idea that had bearing on our lives but certainly had no working theories as to how to actively affect it.  Now my answer is:  I have a theory.  What has changed is that now I think there may be a way to help along our own innate happiness.

So, I have a theory.  Actually, I have a lot of theories but I just want to share two today.  Two theories that have intersected my life recently.  And I must tell you that these theories have been informed by others.  Three that I can think of right off hand. My friend Jessica Eubanks (thenamedrop.tumblr.com).  She's also my coworker but that's just where we met.  She is one of the friendliest and happiest people I know.  Want to know what (I think) her secret is?  Well, it's really no secret, she says it all the time:  "A positive attitude is a choice."  You have to choose to be positive and that, in turn, makes even the crappiest days brighter.  This coincides with advice from the author of a book I'm reading right now.  Gretchen Rubin wrote The Happiness Project.  This is no boring doldrum of a book written by some PhD who wouldn't know happiness if it bit them on the... finger.  It's a memoir of sorts written by a woman who has a good life but finds that she isn't always as happy as she feels like she should be.  So she sets out to increase her overall happiness.  She tries new things every month for a year.  I'm reading July right now.  In one of the previous months, Gretchen tries to "act the way she wants to feel".  Sounds similar to Jessica's advice doesn't it?  Because who doesn't want to feel a little more positive?  I know I do.

Another tactic Gretchen tried earlier in her year-long happiness project was singing to her children in the mornings or whenever they were feeling grouchy.  Singing for some reason made her children happier.  It imbued a sense of fun into the grey, day-to-day moments.  Anyone who has met my sister, Heather (hfowon.blogspot.com), my third informant, understands that this works.  She is constantly making up new songs to sing or just singing stuff that's stuck in her head.  And while the songs she makes up aren't always family radio material, you can tell they make her happy.  I think, for both Gretchen and Heather, it's the fun of singing that makes them happier.  I've tried this recently and it really does work.  I'm sure some of my coworkers think I've stepped off into the deep end but it makes me happier.  And I'm sure that I'm not the only one who thinks that sometimes... acting a little crazy can be fun and make you happier.

So, I've shared two happiness builders that have intersected my life recently.  Now I'm going to list a few other things that make me happy (in no certain order).  Feel free to do the same in the comments!!  I bet it'll make you feel happier.

Some things that make me happy
by:  Amy C. Foster
lists
a leisurely breakfast
playing or snuggling with Lucy (my dog)
a warm mug of coffee or tea
thunderstorms
rain
flowers
hanging with the fam
reading worthwhile literature
crossing things off my to-do list
a clean kitchen
hiking
organization
learning new things
rocking chairs
playing with my charcoal (aka "drawing")
writing interesting things
baking or cooking

Holiday Spinach Dip

In honor of Super Bowl Sunday (a game I'm only watching because the Black Eyed Peas are doing the half time show this year - love them!!), I am posting my Holiday Spinach Dip!  I make this sometimes for holiday parties.  It's actually a riff of the recipe on the back of the vegetable soup mix that I use.  This is a pretty traditional dip here in the South.  It graces the holiday dinner (or snack) table in countless homes and is a welcome addition to any party spread... at least here in Mississippi.  I know this, not only because I'm from here and have lived here most of my life but also because I've searched for veggie soup mix a little too close to a major holiday on more than one occasion.  The picture below is of spinach dip that was actually made with the very last packet of veggie soup mix available in my local Kroger just before a major holiday (I can't remember if it was Thanksgiving or Christmas.  I think I'm getting early onset Alzheimer's but that's a story for another post).  I had to search through countless packets of onion soup mix to find it.  Searchers before me had given up, as evidenced by the abandoned jars of mayonnaise and  loaves of Hawaiian bread on the otherwise empty shelves but I tirelessly searched until I found one lone packet hidden in the back of a box of onion soup mix.  Triumphant, I (actually) shouted 'Ha!!' and went about gathering the other ingredients.

Holiday Spinach Dip
Adapted from the recipe on the back of Knorr's Vegetable Soup Mix.


1 10 - 12 oz. package frozen chopped spinach, thawed
1 16 oz. container sour cream
1 c. mayonnaise
1 pkg. dry vegetable soup mix
1 6 oz. jar quartered & marinated artichoke hearts, chopped
splash of liquid from jar of artichoke hearts
1 large loaf Hawaiian bread

*Squeeze water (or spinach juice...whatever) out of the spinach.  Put spinach in a large bowl with all the other ingredients except the splash of liquid.  Stir well. Add splash of artichoke liquid, if the dip is not already too thin.  Cover and chill for at least 2 hours.  Hollow out the middle of the loaf of Hawaiian bread.  Spoon dip into hole you've created.  You'll have some dip leftover.  Use bread you've taken out of loaf as dippers.  Add your favorite dippers as well, if you'd like.  Tortilla chips, veggies, etc.  They're all good with this dip.

A few notes:

• Be sure your spinach is properly thawed before you squeeze the moisture out or your fingers will hurt from the cold.
• After you squeeze the moisture out of the spinach, it will be in little fist-sized balls.  Be sure you break these up before you stir all the other ingredients in.  Otherwise, you'll end up with a yummy dip that has spinach balls in it. Not good.
• Use quality ingredients here.  Yes, you can use low-fat, reduced calorie, diet-y stuff in this recipe but you'll loose flavor along with those calories and fat grams.  I'd say, try the full-fat and calorie version at least once.  And keep in mind that if you're taking it to a party, you won't be eating all of it by yourself. Now, if you're making it at home or taking it to a small party... you may want to consider going with low-cal sour cream and mayo... or just do an extra half hour next time you're on the elliptical machine.
• I 'chop' the artichoke heart quarters with kitchen scissors.  So much easier!
• The longer you leave this in the fridge, the better it will taste (up to a point).  I usually make mine the night before I'm taking it to a party the next day.